Communicating+Better+With+Parents

=﻿Communication:= The act of exchanging information through speaking, writing, and signs. =﻿Problem for teens:= There are many reasons for a teenager to not want to communicate with a parent. Their environment surrounding them affects the way they feel, act, and how they take care of things. Many problems for teens is feeling that their parents hover them. When a parent talks to you about what's going on in your life, it isn't because they're nosy, it's simply because they care. When parents hammer their teens with questions, they feel overwhelmed. Most adults blame the adolescences stage their teen is going through. Teens do not confide in their parents as much as they use to when they were little. If you feel your relationship with your parents is strained, try easing into conversations. Another reason it's harder to communicate with their parents, is because they feel like they don't trust them. Making sure you have that special bond of trust is important. If your teen knows they can trust you, than they're most likely to go to you when they need to. Also, teens should trust their parents. Another main reason why teens don't trust parents, is because parents are known to go off and talk to their friends about everything. This can ruin a teen's trust. They might tell you something personal that they don't want anyone else to know. Having trust can improve a relationship between a teen and a parent.

=It happens:= Parents probably question their parenting skill because they don't know why their teenagers act the way they do. Teenagers are going through probably one of the roughest times in their life, because their body is changing, and their feelings are changing as well. Non-communication usually happens because teens don't feel like talking about their problems to their parents. Their perspective on communication is different compared to their parents. Teenagers feel like they need privacy and their parents don't need to know what's going on in their lives. They haven't realized that having a parent opinion is probably the most important thing they need when it comes to life. It's common for a parent to use these types of remarks, "He never has time to talk to me, and he's always out doing what he wants to do. Every time I try and talk to my child, and give them advice, they always get upset and walk out of the room." It's normal, because in the teens head they're saying "They always ask me questions, or try and tell me what to do. I'm not a baby!" =Statistics:=
 * 87% of parents reported that they did feel close to their teenager.
 * The great majority of parents reported that they can share and talk very well about things that really matter with their children (75 percent).
 * 84% parents reported that they have met either most or all of their children’s friends
 * 97% of teens girls reported that talking to their parents and being close could help prevent teen pregnancy.
 * More teen stated that the only thing they hide from their parents is sexual topics.
 * 70% teens feel uncomfortable telling parents everything because of judgment.
 * Most parent-teen communication is through text messaging.
 * Nearly seven in ten American parents communicate with their kids by text message.
 * Nearly six in ten teens, ages 13 - 19, report that they communicate more often with their parents since they began text messaging.
 * More than half (53%) of teens that text think their relationship with their parents has improved because of text messaging.
 * More than half (51%) of parents who text with their teens agree that they communicate more often with their kids.

These statistics are important because it shows how many parents do have good communication with their children. Also, I picked the texts statistics because it shows that their improving their relationship. But, I don't think it's healthy statistics because it shows more that teens are communicating with their parents through technology and not actual speaking terms.

=Who does it affect:= Who exactly does bad communication affect? That's the question sometimes it's hard to answer. But, it affects everyone around you. You're probably asking it affects the child. It commonly effects the child because it can have an emotional built up. This means that when a child doesn't talk about what's going on in their life, and everything can build up inside them. It also affects the parents. The reason it affects the parents because the parents feel that their child doesn't tell them enough. This can also get them emotionally frustrated because the parents want that type of relationship with their children. The relationship where the child knows they can go to them for anything and everything. I think it also affects the surrounding peers and the schools. The reason it affects the schools and peers is because a child might not have anyone at home they feel comfortable talking to, so it may change their moods. Meaning, they can be happy one day, but be sad the next. So, I think this is where the schools and friends should come in and tell the teen that they will always have someone to talk to. =Who is at risk:= There is a large percentage of people at risk for bad communication. This includes of having the signs of not telling your parents anything, sitting alone in your room, and shutting off the world. If you do these types of actions, you're at risk of having bad communications with your parents. This also includes getting angry over the little things your parents say to you, and stomping off. Parents who are at risk of bad communication with their teen includes, not taking the time to talk to them, blowing off what they have to say, and not letting them talk. Why are these things important? These things are important because if you give the time to talk, your communication with improve, in many ways. One way being that you know you can go to your parent and they'll be open minded about what you have to say. Another way is, the parent won't assume that what you have to say is bad, and not give you a chance to talk. This also means that the parent will consider your thoughts. Sure, the parents may not like to hear what you have to say, but they should realize that what you're doing is you're going to them for help. That can easily set off a good communication start. =Coping skills:= Coping skills for a teen: Don't take everything your parents ask as an interrogation. Parents mainly ask questions because they know that you need something to talk about. Sit down and hear out what your parents have to say. It's much easier to get everything over with to let what you have to say eat you up inside. It's harder for the parents to understand you if you don't communicate. Take the time alone too. You don't always have to be with your parents talking 24/7. Staying away from your parents for a few hours can easily give both you and your parents a break. Coping skills for a parent: Sit down with your child and take every little time you can. Parents think that once a child shuts their selves out for a few, that they're never going to talk to them again. Wrong! Make every conversation with your child last. Make sure you do some things your teen wants to do, or else they're never going to be interested. Giving them time with them doing something that they want, will target that you're trying to reach out. Also, hear out what your child has to say, don't shoot them down right away. This can make your child feel like they can go to you whenever they need problems, instead of doing their normal routine. =Places:= Places you should be able to go to are counselors. Family counselors will help you understand how a parent and teen are feeling towards each other. 1-866-798-6591 (//Family counselor specialist.//) This number can help you regain the communication you need with your parents. LIVEPERSON. [] This website is an online counseling website that you can go to if you don't feel comfortable verbally talking about the problems you have with your child to someone you barely know. This site can help you get your communication back on the right path with your child.

=Solution for teens:= Listening to what a parent has to say can sometimes be difficult. If a parent has said something you don't agree with, you tend to get upset. But what teens don't know is that it hurts the parents feelings. Not just because you leave your parents confused, but because you make them feel like you have no time for them. Take precautions, meaning, take in what your parents have to say. The most common topic that is not talked about among teens and parents is Sexual Intercourse. It's simply hard for teens to come out and tell their parents everything. By saying "Mom, I have to tell you something, but you may be disappointed." Gives the parents a heads up on what you're about to tell them. Take time in your day to sit down and talk to your parents about your activities, Or anything you're associated with. Answer questions your parents ask you. Don't feel obligated to get mad because they "asked too many questions." Take every chance you get, like a car ride to communicate with your parent. Consider what your parents are saying, and hear them out just like they hear you out.

=Solution for parents:= Parents sometime don't know that they're doing this, but they shut their world off and teens feel like they can't talk to them. Make yourself available. Talk to your teens. Also, sit down and discuss and tell them you're there to listen if anything is going on. Don't pretend to listen, really listen. Listening is a key role in communication. To be a good listener you must make exact eye contact. Making eye contact with the child makes them realize you're really listening, and you're taking in everything they've said. Don't make distractions. This means, don't have anything in front of you that is going to cut your attention off to your child. Sit there and listen to what your child has to say, and don't interrupt with words. This means, you can easily encourage them by smiling, nodding, and touching an arm or back. Interruptions can easily make someone lose their train of thought. Make them know they've been heard. For example, when giving advice, restate what they exactly said, and then give your advice. Asking the right questions are something you should look into too. This means, ask the main big questions. Don't ask too many questions, because if too many questions were asked, your teen will start to feel like they don't have any privacy, and they might say they need their space.

=Solution for schools:= Most teens talk about their problems with their peers in schools. The best way to stay in contact with a student, is talking to their parents. Counselors are the best for this, because they know some families have problems. Students sometimes shut off school staff to their home life. Staff should take charge, and ask questions to every student. Don't single one out, because that might set off that you think something is wrong. Talking to a student can easily make them feel like someone wants to talk. When a student talks to a staff member, or counselor, tell them how talking to a parent can make a difference in a way that they know you're being serious. Hearing this coming from another adult will make the student realize that they can easily go home and vent. Venting can help the student relieve stress by talking about whatever they need. It can have an effect on both the child and parent, in a positive way. Staying positive through the whole situation can also give the child warning signs that they should talk to their parents about what's going on in their lives.

=﻿Quotes:= Hang thee, young baggage! Disobedient wretch! I tell thee what-get thee to church a Thursday. Or never look me in the face. Speak not, reply not. Do not answer me! My finger itch. Wife. We scarce thought us blest. That god had lent us but this only child; But now I see this one is one too much. And that we have a curse in having her. Out on her, hiding!
 * Capulet:**

"God in heaven, bless her! you are to blame my lord, to rate her so.
 * Nurse:**

And why, my lady wisdom? hold your tongue, good prudence. Smatter than your gossip, go!
 * Capulet:**

I speak no treason.
 * Nurse:**

O. God-i-gen!
 * Capulet:**

May not one speak?
 * Nurse:**

Peace, you mumbling fool! Utter your gravity o'er a gossip's bowl, For here we need it not.
 * Capulet:**

You are too hot.
 * Lady capulet:**

Gods bread! It makes me mad. Day, night; hour,tide time; work, play; Alone in company; still my care hath been to have her matched and having now provided A gentleman of noble parentage, Of fair demesnes. youthful, and nobly trained, Stuffed, as they say, with honorable parts. porportioned as one's thoughts would wish a man- And then to have a wretched pulling fool. A whining mammet, in her fortune's tender, To answer "I'll not wed. I cannot love: I am too young, I pray you pardon me"! but, and you will not wed, I'll pardon you! Graze where you will, you shall not house with me. Look to't, think on't; I do not use to jest. Thursday is nead; lay hand on heart, advise: And you be mine, i'll give you to my friend. And you be not, hang,beg,starve,die in the streets. for, be my soul, I'll ne'er acknowledge thee, nor what is mine shall never do thee good. Trust to't. Bethink you. I'll not forsworn.
 * Capulet:**

Is there no pity sitting in the clouds That sees into the bottom of my grief? O sweet my mother, cast me now away! Delay this marriage for a month, a week; Or if you do not, make the bridal bed In that dim monument where Tybalt lies.
 * Juliet:**

Talk to me not, for i'll not speak a word Do as thou wilt, for I have done thee.
 * Lady Capulet:**

=﻿Reflection:= I picked this conversation because it does involve communication with parents. I don't think that Juliet was clear at first, and I think she should of just came out and told her parents that she was already married. The only reason she didn't was because it was to the Capulet's rivalry. Also, on the parent's case, I don't think they went about this the right way. Meaning, I think they should of listened to what was said, because the only reason they didn't was because Juliet had turned down what her parents wanted her to do. What I mean is, they wanted Juliet to marry Paris, but since she was already married, she simply told her parents she didn't want to. Instead of Capulet calling her names like he did, he could of reasoned with her, and maybe asked her why. Also, when Capulet said "If you don't marry him, don't speak to me don't reply to me, don't even answer me." He also quoted that he didn't want her to look him in the face. I think this is a horrible thing to do when talking to your child. Because, the parents doesn't get their way through the child, you shouldn't say "never look me in the face." That can leave a child in serious emotional pain, if they can't even look at their own parents.

=Citations:= "Increasing Communication Better With a Parent and A Teenager." Family Education. http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/communication/39355.html (accessed October 4, 2011). "Parent/Child communication." Center for effective parenting. http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/General Parenting Information/parent to child.htm (accessed October 4, 2011). "A Parent's Guide To Surviving The Teen Years." Kids Health. [] Basheer, Mohammad. "Teenagers and Relationships with their parents." Easy Judge. http://www.essayjudge.com/document_detail.php?doc_id=165 (accessed October 5, 2011). Shakespeare, William. //Shakespeare William//. 1562. (accessed October 5, 2011).